Introduction – I stand before you today
with a painting, a painting that to me is the quintessential expression of the
absurdity of human existence. This fine
piece of art is titled “Goodbye Mr. Chips,” and is the work of the noted
Micropointalist, Stephen Goodfellow.
While I could speak at length regarding the technical aspects of Mr.
Goodfellow’s creation, I feel that there are more important issues to address at
this time.
Body
I.
A picture of a man who has everything he
needs
A.
A telephone with which to reach out and
touch someone
B.
Convenient access to transportation for
those times that long distance just isn’t good enough
C.
Lots of nice neighbors in a friendly urban
setting
D.
The beginnings of a little garden to
nourish body, mind and spirit
E.
Little buddies to make bathing more
bearable
F.
A variety of smoking materials, for
medicinal purposes only
G.
A harmonica to blow the blues away
H.
A fan to blow everything else away
I.
A television, his window to the world
J.
A library of the finest tomes
K.
A clock to tell time, because time
doesn‘t tell him
L.
A sink to wash out those embarrassing
skid marks in his underwear
M.
A pet cockroach, because who needs a cat?
N.
A tub of cool water for a warm summer’s
day
O.
A cold bottle of the best microbrew money
can buy
P.
A portrait of a lovely lass on the wall
1.
He has a love life
2.
She has her own apartment
II.
The painting leaves two unanswered
questions
A.
What are the odds that the table leg
would break at that very moment?
B.
Which electronic device will electrocute
him first?
Conclusion – I submit to you that this is
a cruel world indeed when a man on top of it all, with everything going his way
meets an untimely end due to a capricious whim of fate. Where is the justice? Where is the compassion?? Where is the duct tape to brace that table
leg???
There oughta be a law. I rest my case.
( George Heritier is the co-owner of http://gangofpour.com )
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