I can drive a freight train
Operate on your brain
Grease a pig with Jiffy-Lube
- I learned it on YouTube

I can build an H-Bomb
Stretch the head on a tom-tom
Distilate jet-fuel from crude
- I learned it on YouTube

Ask me how - to fire up a light house
Ask me how - to steal cheese from a door mouse
Ask he how - My hands are clasped in Crazy-glue
- I learned it on YouTube

I can truss and roast a duck
Commander a dump truck
Dress a cat up as a shrew
- I learned it on YouTube

Ask me how - I open a banana
Ask me how - I tranquilize a llama
Ask me how - Turn the llama into tasty stew
- I learned it on YouTube

I'm a disciple I've discerned from this Bible that God is a UFO
Those creatures'll seize ya, they'll prod and they'll squeeze ya
They don't care if you have to go

I've learned there's no hope
I've learned to smoke dope
I've learned.........I've learned to Twitter!

It explains why I'm a couch potato
A cave slave bound up all in chains by Plato
My life is just a shadow - one big screw
- I learned this on YouTube

Show me how - steal Photoshop with peer to peer
Show me how - Lifting MP3's while drinking beer
Show me how - Learn to live if you don't have a clue
- I learned it on YouTube

Tells me why - Fourty-two and I still live at home
Tells me why - Girls don't like me and I live alone
Tells me why - I'm feeling like a worn-out shoe
- I learned it on YouTube
- I learned it on YouTube